What is Normal?

What Is Normal? Breaking Down the Social Construct in Mental Health 

At Bluebird Counseling Center LLC in Lititz, PA, we often hear the question: “Is this normal?” It’s a natural inquiry—especially when someone is navigating mental health, emotions, or life changes. But to truly answer that question, we need to unpack what “normal” actually means.  

Personally, I’ve always disliked the word “normal.” When a client asks if something is “normal,” I often try to lighten the mood by saying, “Normal is boring—nobody wants to be normal.” Yet, even with that playful response, I find myself using the word regularly—and for good reason. It’s an easy word that seems to carry multiple meanings: somewhere between an ideal, a standard, and an average.  

But what is “normal” really?  

Normal as a Social Construct 

The truth is, “normal” is a social construct—a set of ideas created by society to define what is acceptable, typical, or expected. It’s not an absolute fact or a scientific truth. Instead, it fluctuates across cultures, societies, and historical periods. What was once considered “normal” in one era or place may be entirely different in another. 

For example, in one century, it was “normal” for boys to wear pinks and purples, while in another, those colors were designated as feminine. Similarly, beauty standards have shifted over time: in certain periods, full-figured women were deemed most attractive, symbolizing health and abundance. Then, in others, thin, petite frames became the ideal of beauty.  

Why Does “Normal” Change? 

The concept of “normal” is incredibly fluid. It evolves because societal values, cultural norms, and scientific understandings change. Historians even recount stories of the early 20th century, where a contest was held to find the “perfect” woman embodying “Norma.” Despite selecting candidates, none quite fit the idealized measurements they had in mind, illustrating how elusive the “perfect normal” truly is. 

This realization exposes an important truth: normal as a standard of perfection doesn’t actually exist. Neither Norm nor Norma represents a real, attainable ideal. They are mere social myths—constructs that can be both inspiring and oppressive. 

The Myth of the “Normal” Human 

So, why do we strive so hard to be “normal”? Why do we obsess over fitting into a societal mold—whether related to mental health, body image, or behavior—when “normal” is essentially a moving target? 

The answer lies in our innate desire to belong, to be accepted, and to feel safe. Societies create standards to maintain order and cohesion, but these standards can also impose judgments that make us feel abnormal or flawed when we don’t meet them. 

Embracing Our Differences 

The truth is, no one truly fits the mold of “normal” because that mold doesn’t exist. We are all unique, valuable human beings—different in ways that can be difficult, but also deeply valuable. Our differences are not flaws; they are the fabric of what makes each of us special. 

Diverse perspectives, experiences, and traits give us the ability to learn, adapt, and understand the world more fully. They challenge us to redefine what it means to be human and help us live more authentic lives. 

Moving Forward 

Instead of chasing an impossible ideal, we encourage embracing who you are—your quirks, your struggles, your strengths. Your worth isn’t determined by whether you fit societal standards of normality, but by your unique presence on this earth. 

At Bluebird Counseling, we support individuals in uncovering and celebrating their authentic selves. Remember: there is no “normal”—only you. And that’s more than enough. If you’re curious about exploring what makes you uniquely you, our clinicians are here to help. Reach out today—because your journey to self-acceptance starts with understanding and embracing your authentic self.